Reno Is God (14)

[jaded_grin]

This was an amusing little piece of fun that I couldn't resist writing--I may even add to it as needed, it certainly won't leave me alone, and the world is far too short of threesomes anyways.
Title: Reno Is God Rating: M (Now it's just an excuse for smuttiness)
Description: Freshly returned from the Lifestream, Kadaj enjoys a sucker compliments of Tifa and informs Cloud that he has found God Disclaimer: I don't own shite, if you want to sue me, sue for my SIMS games--they're the only things I have that are worth anything. This was meant to be amusing, take it as such!

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1                      13                    15

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14

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            “What’re you grinning about?” Reno asked, giving Kadaj a suspicious look. The boy only ever looked that ecstatic when he was up to no good, and Reno had good reason not to trust him.          

            “It’s Thursday,” Kadaj said, and giggled, hugging himself, his big jade eyes closing in a kind of ecstasy that no worshipping could ever bring him.

            Shrugging, Reno wrote it off as another weirdo brat thing and downed his coffee while Yazoo finished putting away the remains of breakfast.

            “You’re still going to school tomorrow,” Reno told him, causing Kadaj’s face to fall for a moment into a dark glower, but he perked right up, sighing, “But after that, it’s the weekend!”

            Reno gave him a blank look.

            Kadaj’s scowl was deadly in its intensity.

            “Reno,” he snapped, his hugging arms dropping, little hands clenching into fists at his side. “My bike?”

            Reno blinked at him. After a moment he said, “Oh, yeah. Right. Got it.”

            Kadaj glared at him before suggesting, “Maybe someone else should take over as god—you’re very forgetful!”

            “Like you have room to talk,” Reno pointed out and, seeing that Yazoo was finished, he shooed them to the door.

            Kadaj wriggled past his brother and skipped down the stairs, waving cheerily at the security guard and taking a few spins around in the revolving glass doors. If he held onto the push-bars and pushed with his feet, he could spin all the way around, and he managed several times before Yazoo called him away, scolding him as they piled into the car.

            “I want to drive!” Kadaj said, hanging over the seat from the back between Yazoo and Reno.

            Reno snorted a little, cracking the window and lighting his morning cigarette, steering with the edge of one knee—which was something Kadaj would like to try. He’d been able to steer his motorcycle with his knees when he needed to, though it was rather difficult. He missed his motorcycle. It would be nice to have another. Maybe he should’ve asked for one of those instead of a bike, but Reno said he was a disaster around anything mechanical. What had he called him? A Kadaster?

            “Well, that was just rude!” Kadaj said, remembering the instance and irritated afresh.

            Reno glanced at him in the rearview mirror and Yazoo gave him a curious look over one shoulder, neither of them knowing what he was talking about.

            “You’re a fucking nutter,” Reno told him, and Kadaj blushed.

            “Please let me drive?” Kadaj begged, wriggling forward so that he hung balanced over the seat on his hips.

            “Sit back, Kadaj—if there’s an accident you’ll go straight through the windshield,” Yazoo told him, urging him back.

            “Don’t shove!” Kadaj said, avoiding his brother’s determined hands. “Stop it! Reno, tell him to stop!”

            Reno looked at him again and shortly said, “Plant it.”

            Kadaj dropped back on his bottom, pouting, and tried to have the last word with, “I just want to drive.”

            In the rearview mirror those big blue eyes searched the road behind them and then landed on Kadaj, who summoned up the Big Eyes and gave him a hopeful pout.

            “On the way home, Princess.”

            Kadaj dissolved into happy glee and even buckled his seatbelt like Yazoo had insisted.

            Reno drove them to the new ShinRa building. It was one of Kadaj’s favorite buildings, mostly because he’d forced Rufus Mother-Hater ShinRa to fall from the unfinished thirteenth floor of it. Kadaj found that a very pleasant memory and wished he could do it again with greater effect every time he saw the snooty blond man.

            Kadaj resisted when Yazoo tried to clip his visitor’s badge on him, wanting to do it himself but too distracted by all of the people to finish. It was Reno who finally took the thing from Yazoo’s fretful hands and clipped it to the boy’s collar before yanking the both of them into the elevator.

            “Worse than having a puppy,” Reno remarked, and flicked Kadaj’s ear with his thumb and forefinger when the boy made to push buttons on the glowing panel. “Knock it off.”

            Yelping at the painful flick to his ear but unable to resist the enticing buttons, Kadaj slyly managed to poke one as they were getting out, setting off alarms.

            Yazoo sighed.

            Reno scowled at him.

            “I didn’t do anything!” Kadaj defended, giving them his best innocent look. “Honest.”

            Reno pointed down the hallway, clearly too irate for words.

            Chastened, Kadaj promptly did as he was directed, only turning when the man snagged his shirt from behind and slung him in a new direction.

            The doctor they were introduced to was very nice and very polite, especially with a Turk glowering over him and protectively demanding to know what he was doing each time he even looked at either Yazoo or Kadaj. The pair of them were joined in short order by Loz, panting and wild-eyed from having gotten lost somewhere on another floor. Elena had escorted him, though she looked unhappy and downright mutinous from having to be near one of the men who had tortured her.

            Kadaj still disliked both the ugly (in his opinion) blond woman and the stoic man with the dot on his head, and he poked his tongue out at her and made faces until she got mad enough to step back outside.

            The three of them endured the various tests and examinations that the doctor insisted on, and waited in a boring room while he consulted with another doctor over the results. By that time it was almost two in the afternoon and Kadaj was certain that he was on the brink of starvation. He even started to compose a will on a discarded napkin, but wound up just doodling instead.

            Loz kept yanking at his tie like it was choking him, and Kadaj finally got so anxious from the other three men’s tension that he started to worry his thumbnail with his teeth. He wedged himself into the chair with Loz and leaned against him, comforted when the large man put a big, warm arm around him.

            “Well, here we are, then,” the doctor said, coming back in with a smile and absently pushing his glasses back up his nose. “Now, as you know, there is no test which can state with one hundred percent accuracy what a person’s age is—”

            Kadaj shook his head a little. He hadn’t known that at all!

            “—but from the looks of it…let’s see…” he rifled through his sheets and looked at Loz. “Well, it would seem that you’re the eldest, young man.”

            Loz nearly fainted, clutching at Kadaj in shock and squeezing the breath out of him before breathlessly denying, “No, sir! That’s Yazoo! He’s the eldest!”

            The doctor frowned, rechecking his notes, and then said with a note of finality, “No, no—you came first, young man. The interesting thing is that certain results show that all of you are only a few months old. I’ve never seen anything like it! But the scans and other tests say the same thing—you are oldest, the growth-plate results put you somewhere around twenty-three to twenty-five. You,” he looked at Yazoo, who had unconsciously latched onto Reno’s hand. “Are just at the cusp of that grouping—twenty to twenty-three. And as for you…” Kadaj squeaked, trying to hide behind Loz. “Well, you’re very young, yet. You were a little harder because your growth-plates haven’t set. So we judge you to be anywhere from fifteen to eighteen years old—but from the other tests, I’d say you’re probably fifteen, certainly no older than sixteen.”

            “Great,” Kadaj groaned, nuzzling into Loz. “I guess I have to go to stupid school!”

            “Well, the President wanted these results hand-delivered, so I’ll be on my way,” the doctor said, smiling at them. “Good luck to you all, I hope this helps.”

            “You’re the oldest?” Yazoo echoed, no less appalled than Loz was. They stared at each other in consternation, unable to get their minds around it.       

            “Didn’t see that one coming,” Reno sighed, and lit a cigarette even though he was sitting beneath a ‘no smoking’ sign. “Well, we got that sorted. Rufus said you can have the rest of the day off, Loz, if there’s something you wanna do.”

            Loz looked as if the only ‘something’ he’d want to do was go hide in a dark room for a few years. He held fast to Kadaj, still utterly shocked that he was the eldest of the trio. Finally, he roused himself from his dismay enough to respond, saying, “Thank you, Reno. I think I’ll just go home and…well, there’s…anyway, I can tell a few people who would like to know.”

            Kadaj scowled, wanting to ask just who Loz was so shy about, but Reno distracted him by calling his name and gesturing him closer.

            “Bye, Loz!” Yazoo called, waving as the big man left.

            “See ya, yo,” Reno told him, settling Kadaj down at his other side and ruffling his hair. He gave the boy an affectionate look and remarked, “Sixteen, huh? Jail bait.”

            Kadaj frowned, wishing he knew what that meant, but one thing was for certain—he did not associate with jail in any way. Yazoo had explained to him that criminals were best avoided, and television had taught him that people in stripy shirts and black sock-hats were up to no good. Burglars.

            “I’m not a burglar!” he said, offended.

            Reno sighed and shook his head a little, murmuring, “Helium Head. If I could figure out how your brain works, I’d be the richest man in Edge.”

            “It works like everyone else’s,” Kadaj scolded, and retreated to Yazoo’s side, away from Reno and his inference that Kadaj’s brain was wrong.

            “Come on,” Reno told them, standing and smashing his cigarette out on the floor under the toe of his heavy boot. “The boss said I could take the rest of the day off and make sure you two are okay.”

            Still a little upset that Reno thought he might have a sideline in thievery, Kadaj was surprisingly quiet on the way to the parking garage. His silence evaporated, however, when Reno tossed him the keys to the car.

            Quivering in excitement, Kadaj scooted into the driver’s seat, buckled in, and made all of the adjustments that Reno told him to without his usual barrage of questions.

            Yazoo lounged contentedly in the backseat, chatting with Reno, who was keeping careful tabs on Kadaj’s driving. The boy kept his speed low and stayed alert to everything, paying special attention to the things Reno called out ahead of time, even though he remembered them from when he used to have a motorcycle.

            “Oh, Reno, I almost forgot,” Yazoo suddenly said. “Can we stop by the store? I need to do some shopping.”

            “Sure, baby, whatever you want,” Reno said, giving him a wolfish grin that made Yazoo blush. “Groceries?”

            “Yes, please,” Yazoo said, and dug into his backpack for his grocery list.

            “Turn right at the light, Princess,” Reno instructed, and Kadaj did as he was told.

            “Okay,” Yazoo sighed, looking at his list. “Let’s see—do you still want roast on Friday?”

            “Yes,” Reno answered, a cautious eye on Kadaj as he drove at a snail’s pace through the crowded streets.

            “So, we need a rump roast,” Yazoo said, clicking a pen to add it to his list. Pausing in confusion, he lifted his head and asked, “Who wrote ‘goiter’ on my shopping list?”

            Kadaj blushed bright red.

            Reno started laughing in that low, husky way of his and asked of Kadaj, “Are you serious?”

             “I didn’t want to forget!” Kadaj defended, embarrassed. “But I kinda forgot where I wrote it…”

            “Imagine that,” Reno sighed, still chuckling.      

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1                      13                    15

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Comments

[etrix.livejournal.com]

So much win in this chapter. This story is great to start a Wednesday with.

Wednesday = hump day. I can just imagine what Kadaj would make of that. =}

[jaded-grin.livejournal.com]

Wednesday = hump day. I can just imagine what Kadaj would make of that You're brilliant! I'm trying to get my posting on some kind of schedule...we'll see how it goes!

[ldyavalon.livejournal.com]

Kadaj reminds me of my brother when he was younger. Only less psychotic, of course...

Gotta love the interaction between the three *hearts*

[jaded-grin.livejournal.com]

I really need to catch my LJ up to my ff.net account! There's more "interaction between the three" there, of course :D

[ldyavalon.livejournal.com]

I've seen it, as I follow Eromenos avidly. But I prefer reading it here, bit by bit, instead of all in one go :)

[grygon.livejournal.com]

Well, after reading chaps1-2 a long time ago I've finally read the entire story tonight.

Wonderful. Gawds, hottest 3some ever. I love your Reno and Kadaj.

[jaded-grin.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'd never written threesomes before this story, it was an interesting test :D I'm glad you liked it, there's several more chapters if I could ever get off of my ass and get them up here! God, I'm so lazy!

[grygon.livejournal.com]

*BIG EYES*

*BIGGEST DAMN EYES EVER*