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jaded_grinKadaj was nearly in tears when he got back into the car with Tseng. He’d never felt so frustrated, and he couldn’t believe that Reno—who had promised to go home with him, to keep him safe—had just tossed him at Tseng as if he didn’t matter.
“It is something to think about,” Tseng told him, only the glint of streetlights on his eyes visible in the darkness of the car.
“What?” Kadaj asked, pressed against the door and trying not to look at him.
“The way he treats you,” Tseng said, and shifted a little behind him. “I see that my friend has grown lax in this city where he feels safe. I see that he has no sense of the dangers surrounding him.”
“I will keep him safe,” Kadaj swore, blinking back tears.
“Does he keep you safe, Kadaj?” Tseng asked him, and softly brushed the tips of his fingers along the wispy ends of the boy’s hair. “He treats you as a valueless servant.”
“I am a servant,” Kadaj said, proud of it. He loved
“You owe him for leaving you blind in the dark,” Tseng said, and those fingertips trailed down the curve of Kadaj’s slender back. “For his selfishness he has kept you ignorant of your status, a servant when you should be a prince, a whore when you should be exalted. He doesn’t even have the sense to appreciate you for what you are, no—he flings you away as if you are replaceable.”
Kadaj lowered his head a little, determined not to be upset. This frightening, dangerous man with his low, soft voice was affecting him strangely and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. Tseng terrified him, but there was a thrill to knowing that such a man not only wanted him, but wanted him badly.
He swallowed hard and lifted his head, too proud to be bought so easily.
“
“You run his business.”
“—he has other obligations, but he loves me,” Kadaj insisted, ignoring the waver in his voice. “He loves me.”
Tseng was quiet for a long time, his fingertips lightly moving over Kadaj’s spine, as if the boy were a prized instrument too fine for mortal hands to play.
“Does he?” he finally asked. “Has he ever told you such, my Jewel? Can you really tell yourself that he loves you when he spends more time in the beds of strangers than in his own with you? Perhaps he loves you…and perhaps he is simply reliant upon you to run his business. Perhaps we will never know if you leave things as they lay.”
Kadaj’s soft mouth tightened and he asked, “What would you suggest, sir?”
Tseng mulled it over, now lightly stroking Kadaj’s hair.
“I would suggest you make your way in the world without him,” he softly said. “I would suggest that you throw in your lot with those who would see you in your rightful place, my Jewel. In the end, it is your decision, and it is not to be made lightly…in the meantime, perhaps comfort alone will suffice?”
Kadaj turned his head to look at him, his face illuminated in flashes of streetlights.
He couldn’t remember the last time that Reno had touched him, and the man acted as if he truly didn’t care what happened to him—he had, after all, thrown Kadaj into the lion pit without so much as a flinch.
“Perhaps,” he quietly agreed, and his heart raced with an excitement that was somehow a part of that terrible and aching fear.
He would be a little sad to leave Midgar, yes—sad to leave the city he’d grown to know and take comfort in. He didn’t really have any friends to leave behind except, perhaps, for
Wiping at his eyes, he left Rufus’s suite, glad that he’d eventually relinquished the childish dream to be happily married to a man who loved him, raising children all the more precious because they’d never been expected to be. It had been naïve and ridiculous of him to even imagine such things, and it felt like a lifetime had passed since he’d finally realized the truth of his situation—he would live isolated from his family, untouched by any lover, unneeded and unwanted by the world at large until he would finally simply die and be buried, just another lost soul in the masses with no one to miss him once he was gone. He knew he had it in common with millions of people the world over, but it didn’t make the reality any more bearable. At least if he returned home, he would have his mother to love him and his father to dote on him.
Because he knew better than to think that Rufus would change one iota of his lifestyle, whatever the price might eventually be. He would much rather be rid of
And
“I’m not sure I follow the logic, yo,”
“Oh, stop brooding,” Rufus laughed, far too drunk and wishing his usually boon companion would go back to being his normally boisterous self. Instead, after their discussion at home,
“I just don’t get the argument,”
“I’ve told you and told you!” Rufus slurred, slumping forward so far that he nearly bumped heads with
“It’s sick,”
Rufus blew off
“What everyone else?”
“Yeah, yeah, well, that left you,” Rufus laughed, and clapped him on his narrow shoulder. “It shouldn’t be too hard,
He gurgled with laughter but
“How long we been pals, Rufus?” he asked.
“Oh, I dunno,” Rufus sighed, slumping back with a thoughtful grunt, sloshing his drink over his stomach. “Gosh…years? Since I was…wait, how old am I again? Fuck, like fourteen years or something? Somewhere around there…”
“Yeah, somewhere around there,”
“Hm?” Rufus asked, but he really didn’t care as long as
“Because I care about you, yo—I don’t want you left with a fucked-up wife and some empty warehouses in Wutai,”
Rufus grinned at him and won a lopsided, wry grin in return from his friend, who simply shook his head, tossed back his drink, and declared, “You’ll owe me, yo.”
“Indeed I will!”
“Tomorrow,” Elena sighed, so transported by the idea that her plan was succeeding that she almost didn’t remember to fake an orgasm. She pawned it off on a pretend headache to reassure the old goat that he hadn’t lost his nonexistent touch and waited him out. Once he was asleep, she hurried out to her balcony to have a smoke and call
Surprisingly, he picked up, but it wasn’t his slurred, drawling voice that asked, “Hello? Who’s it?”
“Rufus?” she asked, perplexed. She didn’t have his number and she certainly hadn’t dialed one in—she’d used her speed dial, as always. “What on earth are you doing with
“Why’re you calling him?” Rufus asked, and giggled loudly into the phone when something happened on the other end. “You know, Elena, when I picked up I saw that he had about sixteen missed calls from somebody saved as ‘The Witch’—is that you?”
“You’re an asshole,” she told him, flushing because he was probably right. “Let me talk to
“Pretty sure, sweetheart, that if he wanted to talk to you, he’d answer his phone,” Rufus laughed, and sighed a little. “Besides, I got dibs, I’m getting him sloshed and laid since he’s such a good pal.”
Elena snarled into the phone, fingers tightening so hard that the plastic complained and threatened to break.
“I’ll be seeing you, dickhead,” she purred.
Rufus laughed, amused, and told her, “Yeah? Well, lemme tell you something, darling—I may not love my wife, in fact I may fucking hate her, but you’d better behave yourself when you’re with her.”
“What do you think I’ll do, Rufus? Tell her you’re fucking around on her? She already knows!” Elena scoffed. “There isn’t anything I could do to
“Oh, mind your own business,” Rufus told her, sounding dazed and distracted. “
Elena snarled into the phone again, ready to murder.
“You!” Rufus laughed. “So play nice with
Elena took a deep, calming breath and threw her used up smoke over the balcony before she softly said, “You were the one who suggested I make friends with
“Yeah, well, I’m fickle,” Rufus laughed, and said. “Bye, now! Have fun playing house with that rotten old fart!”
“Fuck you!” Elena shouted, but he’d already hung up.
It was a very somber, very thoughtful Kadaj who made his way up the back stairs of
“Hey, Kadaj, you want some blow? You look a little down.”
He waved off the offer, shaking his head a little as he made his way to the main stairs and up to the locked double doors that led to
Tonight, however, Kadaj left the painting as it was and locked the door behind him.
Tseng had been a man of his word—he’d not tried to get Kadaj into bed, not after
He looked around at the opulent room, at the towering marble statues and the beautiful flower arrangements, the imported hand-made rugs and the caged exotic birds that the man never even paid attention to. The suite was softly lit with globe gas-lights, faint and steady but not harsh. The whole place held a dream-like, fantasy quality that Kadaj had fallen in love with the first night he’d stayed in that gigantic, heavily carved bed.
Now…now it just felt lonely.
He slipped the souba off of his hip and hung her on the weapons rack that also held several katanas and sharp sabers.
“Hey, pretty bird,” Kadaj cooed on his way to the cages, making sure they all had food and water. He knew the cleaning staff came in during the day and that several of the others came in with them to gawk over
The bird ruffled its feathers but didn’t respond. All of them had roosted for the night, resting quietly in the softly lit darkness.
Kadaj passed through into the actual bedroom and stripped down, clambering into the huge bed to shiver beneath the cold sheets. He thought briefly of calling some of the others in to sleep next to him, but he couldn’t muster the energy. Besides, he didn’t want to restart bad habits—even if he didn’t have
He rolled onto his side, recalling how Tseng had touched his hair and his back, how the man hadn’t pressed. He’d just said those words…those wise words that made Kadaj think more and more on his situation. He’d never been unhappy with his place before, but he found that running
He blinked and wiped his tears on his pillow case, a little shaken by what he was contemplating. He was so lost in his dilemma that he almost didn’t hear the door open, and sat up in a panic before he heard it close and the heavy lock click.
After a few moments,
“You locked the door on me, Cateyes!” he teased, flopping onto the bed and wriggling out of his jacket and shirt.
“I didn’t think you would come back,” Kadaj whispered, still crying.
“Aw,” the man sighed, and leaned up on one elbow to wipe at Kadaj’s tears. “I promised you, didn’t I?”
Kadaj swallowed hard and gave him a tremulous smile, frightening thoughts fluttering through his head. “Yeah.”
“Well, here I am, baby,”
“I can’t help it,” Kadaj said, and turned his head away. “You’re different,
“I’m here now,” the man said, and pulled Kadaj down to cradle him against his chest. “He try something on you, Cateyes? Why you crying?”
Kadaj snuggled against his chest, tired and sad and sick at heart, but the only reply he could give was more soft weeping.
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Date: 2008-12-20 03:36 am (UTC)Still absolutely loving the Kadaj/Tseng arc. Had a question, maybe it was mentioned in a previous chapter. With Kadaj guarding Reno so much, and with Reno hanging around Yazoo so much, has it ever been noticed by anyone how similar in appearance they are?
Couple thoughts/plot ideas from watching a General Hospital ad with the colobus monkeys this morning: the soap opera staple, the coma. Dramatic opening (dun dun dun!) of the eyes after years (esp. if it's more yummy cateyes). Could be an excellent way to introduce a new character. And SE was so kind to present you with another staple: the tragic disease. "Oh no, they have the Geostigma!" But if you're actually watching the things, then I'm sure you've come up with these already. :D
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Date: 2008-12-20 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-21 12:15 am (UTC)Unfortunately, I can't really "watch" the tv as I need to be cleaning, and I can't stand Regis and Whomever and The View, which is what tends to be on. Although I did change it to NBC yesterday, so we'll see how that goes.
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Date: 2008-12-20 05:08 pm (UTC)