jaded_grin | Episode 30

Happy Memorial Day, everyone! A friend of mine is doing a paper and would like some responses from those of you who would care to participate. Her name is Jacqueline Combs and here is what she has to ask:

Hello fans,

My name here is jsakurachan1 and I have a favor to ask of all you. I am writing a research paper on the effects yaoi has on its readers and writers, and I was wondering if any of you would be interested in answering some questions. If you choose to participate, you will have to send the answers to j.sakurachan1@gmail.com along with your name/pseudonym. Also, tell me if you want that name used in the paper or if you would prefer your answers to be anonymous. Thank you all for your time, and thanks jaded_grin for helping me out here!

the questions are:
1) Why do your read yaoi? Is there a psychological draw, or is it for the smut? Do you read for the romance?

2) Do you notice any change in your own behavior and/or opinions on socially relevant issues?

3) How have your views on the original media changed after you have read the yaoi?

so these questions are pretty broad as the paper is in its early stages, so feel free to add any more information that you think would be helpful!

jsakurachan1

love ya!

jacque

If you would like to respond, she has listed her email and you can also PM her here on LJ, she is

jsakurachan1 Thank you in advance for those who help her out! And here is your next episode!!! (And I apologize for any disappointment - there will be a lot more happening in the future!)

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“Elena, I think you had better go,” Ronald softly said, allowing Scarlet to take his trembling hand, grateful for the support that hid it. Elena stared at him with wide, shocked eyes, as if she’d never ever dreamed that Ronald might deny her something. It was his own fault, he knew—he had spoiled her, tried to buy her affection along with her body. She was not to be blamed for her own nature, but he was too old and too ill to put up with it. And more, he was tired. “Have the driver take you to Reno’s, I’ll let him know you are on your way.”

“But, Ron!” Elena said, and the high-pitched desperation in her voice only made him feel worse. “Ron, didn’t you hear me? I’m pregnant with your child!”

He closed his eyes sadly and shook his head, sighing, “No, Elena, that isn’t possible, I’m sorry. I had a surgery done years ago, there is no chance that the baby is mine.”

He watched her fair cheeks flush with dark blood, her mouth dropping open in shock.

“I told no one,” he said. “Not even Rufus. But there is simply no chance that you could carry my child. I’m sorry. Go down to the car, I will have your things sent over to Reno’s in the morning.”

With that, he followed Scarlet’s gentle urging and headed to his own suite to check up on what Lazard had accomplished while he was absent.

Zack started when the token knock on the door was followed by Mei Li sweeping into his room in all of her diminutive glory.

“Pardon my intrusion, I—what is that?” she questioned, her dark eyes narrowing and focusing on what Zack hastily closed into the closet.

“Ancient history,” Zack told her, leaning on the closet door as an extra precaution against curious hands. “Can I help you?”

“I was bored, Reno is on a date tonight,” Mei Li said, gathering her flowing robes around herself and sitting down in the chair next to Zack’s bed. “He is with his Mrs. ShinRa tonight.”

Zack’s eyes widened and his fingers twitched a little, wanting to draw out his phone.

“Does Kadaj know?” he asked.

Mei Li shrugged and purred, “I would not know, he left this morning and never returned. Why do you ask?”

“Just…I just like to know things,” Zack said, wondering if Mrs. ShinRa’s frightening, bull of a bodyguard knew that she was out with Reno this evening. But he couldn’t very well call him right here in front of Mei Li, and he wasn’t about to leave the closet unguarded with her in the room. The Brotherhood was famous worldwide, mentors and students guarded royalty even in Wutai. He couldn’t afford to have her recognize the sword.

“Have you always been such a terrible liar?” she asked, inspecting her blood-red talons.

Zack watched her, remembering how those same talons had dug into Reno’s belly to pull him back inside the bedroom. He had bruises on his wrist from the man’s tight grip, and counted himself more than lucky to have not been pulled into their games.

“Or perhaps you were not trained to lie?” she asked, and smiled at him.

“What are you doing here, Mei Li? Not here in this room, but here in this house at all?” Zack asked, his natural instinct for trouble telling him that she wasn’t nearly as harmless as she pretended, much like the tiny, delicate little serpents of Gongaga whose bite could kill in a single strike. “Who sent you here?”

“What makes you think I was sent?” she asked, amused.

“Because you clearly do not like foreigners,” Zack pointed out. “I can tell the way you interact with people. And you don’t demand that Reno stay with you constantly, so there must be some other reason.”

“Perhaps,” she admitted, and her smile deepened to a smirk. “I am watching Reno’s household on behalf of my Master. He has certain investments in this place, certain treasures he wants protected.”

Zack took that in, frowning a little. Try as he might, he couldn’t deny that she moved with the same fluid, silent grace as an assassin. It would not surprise him to know that she was on a hand-holding basis with murder.

Zack should know, he was, too.

“It does not concern you, Zack, provided that you were honest with me,” she purred.

“I can’t lie,” he breathed, softly shaking his head.

“Then that makes you particularly vulnerable, does it not?” she questioned.

Zack nodded softly.

“How do you survive?” Mei Li asked, drawing a folded fan from her deep sleeve and flipping it open to fan herself lazily. “Or do you just refrain from speaking?”

He stared at her. It was answer enough.

“You are a very interesting man, Zack,” she purred, and tipped her head back, smiling at him. “Why would an honest man come to work for someone like Reno?”

Zack shifted uncomfortably and swallowed hard, weighing his options.

Rufus was practically dancing in delight as he closed his door, having retreated back to his room after he’d saluted Reno.

It was happening! His dangerous and capable friend had actually managed to penetrate that frigid bitch’s defenses! In just a few days time, he would be in possession of half of the Jenova fortune, and he would have a broken excuse of a wife on top of it, one who wouldn’t pitch fits at his habits or accuse him of cruelty.

“What’s got you so happy, sir?” Denzel asked, helping himself to Rufus’s dinner.

“None of your business, now go home,” Rufus said, and turned in surprise when the door to his suite was thrown open, a guard trying to keep the intruder out but clearly at a loss about what to do.

“Elena?” he questioned.

Denzel poked another bite of salmon into his mouth and chewed, wide eyes fixed on the drama.

The normally composed young woman was in a fury, her cheeks flushed and her eyes narrow.

“Do you know what I just saw?” she snarled.

Rufus, who had just seen it himself, paled and shoved Denzel out of his seat, saying, “See you in the morning, get yourself home, now.”

“But, sir, what about—”

“Bye!” Rufus said, and slammed the door after him and the guard both, locking them out. He spun to face Elena and asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Your father kicked me out!” she hissed, seething. “Your bitch of a mother is back, you know. And so I come here for some help and what do I see but Reno making off with your wife! You allow that to fucking happen here?”

“I don’t care about it,” Rufus said, brushing it off. “Ignore it, don’t even think about it, okay? Just pretend it never happened.”

He moved to uncap his whisky and poured two shots, offering one to Elena, who took it and tossed it back.

“Why would you come here for help?” he asked, watching her choke a little and shake it off, another kind of flush flooding her cheeks.

“Because if I go back to Reno’s, he’ll kill me, that’s why,” she said, and held her glass out for more. “I called it done with him and your pop paid me direct. Reno found out and wants repayment or else it’s the butchers for me.”

“And why is this my problem?” Rufus inquired, casually taking his shot. “You know Reno better than to pull that kind of bullshit on him, you’re lucky he didn’t just kill you straight off.”

“I came here for your help because I’m pregnant,” she said.

Rufus nodded slightly, not really caring.

“With your pop’s kid,” she added.

Rufus overturned the whisky bottle with his sudden spasm of startlement. Horrified, he rounded on her and demanded, “What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“I got knocked up by the old fucker,” she said, sticking to her guns. “Now, you got room for me and your little brother or sister?”

Stunned and dismayed, Rufus could only stare at her, at a loss.

Elena stared back, praying that it would work.

As the only man in the country running flesh for profit, Reno had a world of decadence at his fingertips…and he didn’t touch any of it. His rules assured his workers that they would never be touched by him, and he claimed it was to make them feel safe, but underneath it all was the thing that made him seethe with want, the thing that drove him insane with lust.

He’d met a handful in his life—boys, mostly, young enough to be androgynous, graced by surgery with the attributes Reno craved. But it wasn’t just that combination that made him lose his mind, it was fooling people. It was the few who could walk through a room and draw every gaze, the passers. Mei Li was one, she’d been schooled to it from the time she’d been sold to the whorehouse as a teenager. The Madame had seen the potential and Tseng had paid for the rack that Reno loved. Tseng had called it a birthday gift, because one drunken night Reno had let slip to his friend that sex with a flawless woman sporting a cock was the only thing that really got him off hard anymore.

He was just too jaded for anything else.

Mei Li, however, was no fool, and had quickly discovered that the best way to keep herself high on Reno’s list of priorities was to keep him from claiming his prize. It was a battle that had stretched for years now, and still each time with her was as exciting as the first.

And then there was Yazoo.

To say that she was the embodiment of every breathless, overwhelming prayer for the perfect lover was putting it lightly—for almost nine years he’d been in nearly the same agony of thwarted lust with Yazoo as he was with Mei Li, but Yazoo’s innocence, her graceful manners, the effortless way she was female did far more for him than his Wutain lady ever could. Mei Li still had that aggressive edge to her, that male desire to overcome. Yazoo was a woman, through and through.

And in the space of just a very short amount of time, Reno had gone from being vaguely friendly in an effort to shield her from his own far more carnal nature, to having an opportunity to finally be with the only woman who defined perfection in his book.

He only hoped he could keep his head long enough to not scare her, because just getting her up to her room had cost him, and he could feel her shaking in his arms, feel her tiny, lacquered nails raking at his jacket for purchase in the face of his deep, devouring kisses.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, his voice shaky, and he wasn’t sure who he was assuring here. She made a soft noise against his lips that made him hiss, crushing her smaller body to his, tipping her back onto her bed.

There was no going slow, he’d been waiting too long for this. He lay atop her on her virginal, untouched bed, the heavy ache of his groin pressed to the vee of her legs. He kept her mouth busy with kisses while he slid his hand up the short side of her dress, up her shapely leg to feel the stocking he’d seen earlier in the night. The feel of lace and soft flesh, the press of small, high breasts against his chest, the frightened, yielding hunger of the slender body beneath his—all of it brought a low, excited moan from his lips and he shoved against her, the shift of his body bringing her thigh between his legs.

“Sh,” he whispered again, and his hands shook, his body trembled. He couldn’t hold her close enough, couldn’t kiss her deeply enough, and even her innocence in fleshly pursuits wouldn’t blind her to how badly he needed her. He sucked on her wet mouth, plunging his tongue into her mouth to tease her own, too excited to bother with teaching her right now.

There would be time later, time to draw things out, time to teach her. Right now, it was all he could do to get her undressed without losing his control.

It was frightening for Yazoo to have his clothing opened up to reveal himself. Never in his life had he undressed in front of another person but Reno’s fingers were rapidly undoing his dress, pushing the material aside to bare the swell of his chest and the lace bra.

Yazoo whimpered, distressed, but Reno didn’t seem to notice. He lifted his mouth from Yazoo’s and his blue eyes fastened on his white hand cupping nude lace and creamy skin. He made a soft noise that sent tingles blossoming in Yazoo’s lower belly all over again.

He arched a little against Reno’s lithe body and the man’s mouth came down once more, devouring and demanding. His hand came off of Yazoo’s chest to slide up his thigh, pushing his dress up to cup his round bottom as he groaned softly into Yazoo’s mouth.

“Reno,” he whispered, excited and afraid. He didn’t feel like himself anymore—he wasn’t this person splayed out in bed, his dress half off and hiked up with a dangerous, gorgeous man pinning him and groping him. He wasn’t himself at all, and he was pretty sure he never would be again. “Reno…”

The fear won out over arousal when Reno’s hand found him, cupping his groin to follow the length of his body tucked neatly up inside his silky panties. He squealed softly and wriggled, terrified, but his struggles only seemed to excite the man, only drove him to hook his fingers into the crotch of those silk panties and tear them open.

The first touch made Yazoo gasp.

Those insistent, skilled fingers coaxed him, cupped him, teased him into flushing fully erect. And still Reno made those soft sounds, groaning and aroused, shoving his hips hard against Yazoo’s thigh to rub the long length of his stiff body against Yazoo’s stocking-clad leg.

“That’s it, Cateyes,” he moaned, and squeezed him, twisting his hand, his breath coming out in a low gasp when he whispered, “Fuck, Cateyes, that’s it, feel it for me, baby…”

Yazoo sobbed a little, overwhelmed by the pleasure, by his fear. His heart thundered in his chest and his hips surged, pushing against Reno’s working hand. He felt his loose sac fill, everything shifting down to its proper place as his body responded.

“Oh my god,” Reno breathed, and broke the kiss again, stopped working Yazoo’s body to break open his pants. Flesh spilled out of his open zipper, thrusting out to brush Yazoo’s thigh right where the lace tops of his stockings met his soft skin. The sound Reno made brought an answering sound from Yazoo and that flesh pulsed against him, rubbing against lace and skin.

It made Yazoo blush; it scared him to see it—stiff and strange, full and flushed with dark, rich blood.

“Come here,” Reno panted, urgent, shifting him around and shoving hard against him. Propped as he was half against the headboard, legs spread and dress open, Yazoo was sure this simply wasn’t happening. It was some kind of surreal dream, surely…But Reno rolled his hips up a little, he sucked on his finger to wet it, and curled it up inside Yazoo and the illusion shattered.

It was all happening too fast, and Yazoo tried to slow things down, tried to escape. He was terrified suddenly, sure that whatever he lost here would be something no regret could ever restore. He shoved at Reno’s shoulders but the man easily overcame his struggles, kissed him with brutal insistence, worked that finger in and out. When he did pull back it was to take a long, lingering look at Yazoo’s body—the bra and its illusion of greater cleavage than there truly was, the slender waist, the skirt bunched up around his hips, the stockings held up around slender thighs by garter straps that framed an erection so out of place on that feminine, slender body.

“Reno,” Yazoo whispered, whimpered, terrified but still excited, trembling because he didn’t know anything. He just didn’t know! Reno touched him without explanations, without patience or regard for his virginal status—he touched him like Yazoo was some kind of drug and he needed a fix more than he needed anything in the world. His fine hands trembled, his big blue eyes dilated and his mouth stayed parted and moist. He wedged himself tighter between Yazoo’s thighs and kissed him again, lifted his hips a little, probed the tip of his turgid, slick flesh against Yazoo’s tight body.

In a surprisingly gentle thrust, he eased himself inside and Yazoo sobbed aloud, clutching him, more scared by it than hurt.

“Shh,” Reno brokenly whispered, and moaned with dark, private pleasure. He rocked his hips, feeding the length of his body into Yazoo’s, tugging at the slender young man’s hips to tilt him just right, to prime him for feeling it. Thrust again and Yazoo’s cries changed tenor, still afraid but full of startled pleasure. He thrust a few more times, roughly, and then bent Yazoo so that he could still rock against that spot with Yazoo’s fat erection sandwiched between them. “Shh, Cateyes, I’ll make it better…”

Yazoo writhed, too full, overwhelmed, that unexpected and frightening pleasure sparking from his groin and somewhere deeper, somewhere that Reno’s body kept rubbing with every shallow, rocking thrust. His fingers clenched in the disheveled, mounded bedding, the hardness of the headboard digging into the back of his head. Even bent at such an uncomfortable angle it was still amazing, and he couldn’t stop his soft cries. Reno’s hard, silky belly rubbed him, pressed him with every thrust and he just couldn’t seem to get his head around the fact that Reno was inside him. The thought made that sparking pleasure flare and he moved his hands, clinging to Reno fiercely, his nails digging into the man’s back and his body tightening.

Reno groaned in response, one arm hitching him up tight, his other hand splaying on Yazoo’s thigh, lingering at the top of his stocking.

“Yeah, baby, that’s it,” he moaned, and sucked at Yazoo’s open mouth, sucked on his tongue, bit his lower lip, purring with pleasure. “God, you feel so good! You’re perfect, Cateyes! So perfect…”

Reno rocked harder, Yazoo’s body pulled tighter, and suddenly everything just seemed to burst—his back bowed and he couldn’t catch his breath despite the ragged noise of his breathing. Dimly, he felt Reno pounding into him more insistently, moaning in helpless pleasure, but Yazoo was too lost inside himself to care. His muscles twitched, his tight body bucked up against Reno’s, and he nearly screamed as he ruptured into a thousand pieces of pure bliss. He felt his body spasm, felt sticky heat flood up between their bellies, jerked as it just kept going harder and harder, making him ache all over in a way that made him wish it would never stop, made spots swim before his eyes as it all exploded again.

“Fuck, baby,” Reno whispered, his voice desperate, his hips rocking urgently. He kissed Yazoo again, swallowing down his cries, lapping at his mouth. He made another breathless, keening noise and hissed in pleasure, his entire body going rigid above Yazoo’s, straining and pushing as if he might somehow push right through Yazoo if he just tried hard enough. With a sudden deep, startled groan he shuddered hard and roughly surged into him, almost sobbing with the strength of it, his hand clenching hard on Yazoo’s thigh and his body swelling inside him, pulsing so hard that Yazoo could feel it. He breathed harshly against Yazoo’s cheek, his racing heart thudding against Yazoo’s chest, his body wracked by residual shudders as it slowly faded.

Yazoo realized that he was still sobbing a little, still out of breath. It had just happened so quickly and was over so suddenly…it didn’t seem real. He’d never felt anything like that before, hadn’t been aware that his body was even capable of such things, such feelings. He shivered, the air cool against his slick belly, sweat drying on his brow. The headboard was digging into his head and actually hurting, and he realized that he still had his heels on.

Gradually, he became aware that he still had everything on and was just lying sprawled in his bed with his clothing askew like a common trollop.

Flushing, he turned his head a little, suddenly flooded with guilt. He felt Reno shift and pull out of him, which only made him blush harder, horrified to feel the man’s seed seeping out of him. None of it seemed to bother Reno, and Yazoo realized that this was routine for Reno. He wasn’t a virgin! He had already had lovers and knew what he was doing, what to expect, and Yazoo was just…lost.

No, Yazoo was fallen.

Mortified by how easily he’d given in, Yazoo burned with shame as Reno eased off of him. Pleasure still tickled at his senses but it only served to embarrass him more, a blatant reminder of how he’d behaved—abandoned and shameless, eager. He’d been eager this whole time, hoping that just this thing would happen. And what of Reno? What had he seen? A woman willing to betray her husband, a woman inviting his company…not a woman at all.

Yazoo couldn’t really blame this in him, Reno hadn’t been the one hoping for this, dreaming vague dreams about it, trying to entice—no, that had been Yazoo. And now what? Reno had slept with him, probably just to placate him, and most likely he would never respect Yazoo ever again.

“Cateyes?” Reno asked, his voice soft. He was still panting, breathless, languid with spent exertion. “Why are you crying? Did I hurt you?”

Yazoo shook his head, not trusting himself to speak. He sat up in his disheveled clothing, the remains of that amazing pleasure sliding down his girdled belly to pool against his thigh. It disgusted him, suddenly. It made him a little sick.

All of this time, all of these years, and he was exactly what he vilified in Rufus.

Yazoo didn’t think he would ever feel so empty, so hollow as he did in that moment with the taste of Reno’s mouth still on his lips and the man’s seed seeping from his body to indelibly stain his stark white sheets.

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And here are two more pictures from the ever fabulous Bela! She has additional artwork up on her LJ so please go check them out! Hugs and kisses for you, Bela, for these sexy and delicious pictures!