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To Whom It May Concern,
Feb. 21st, 2009 07:59 pmDear Makers of Pretend Lunch "Meat":
I am writing to you today to implore you to change your packaging. For thirty-odd years I have been a dedicated meat-eater and have only recently given up still-mooing steaks and fried chicken to try the vegetarian lifestyle. To help myself in this endeavor, I purchased your "lunch meat" slices to give myself an alternative to my beloved salami.
It took me a steak knife, a fork, and a pair of scissors to get the fucking wrapper open.
So, for the safety of all the dear little animals, in the future please package your "lunch meat" in resealable plastic, because in the time it took me to get to the fucking food I could've killed a chicken and happily eaten its yummy bits and if I have to waste that much time I will just go to the goddamned Burger King and get myself a juicy burger. Fuck you, wrapper--FUCK YOU!
Your Sincerely,
Jaded Grin
I am writing to you today to implore you to change your packaging. For thirty-odd years I have been a dedicated meat-eater and have only recently given up still-mooing steaks and fried chicken to try the vegetarian lifestyle. To help myself in this endeavor, I purchased your "lunch meat" slices to give myself an alternative to my beloved salami.
It took me a steak knife, a fork, and a pair of scissors to get the fucking wrapper open.
So, for the safety of all the dear little animals, in the future please package your "lunch meat" in resealable plastic, because in the time it took me to get to the fucking food I could've killed a chicken and happily eaten its yummy bits and if I have to waste that much time I will just go to the goddamned Burger King and get myself a juicy burger. Fuck you, wrapper--FUCK YOU!
Your Sincerely,
Jaded Grin
