To Whom It May Concern,

[jaded_grin]

Dear Makers of Pretend Lunch "Meat":

I am writing to you today to implore you to change your packaging. For thirty-odd years I have been a dedicated meat-eater and have only recently given up still-mooing steaks and fried chicken to try the vegetarian lifestyle. To help myself in this endeavor, I purchased your "lunch meat" slices to give myself an alternative to my beloved salami.

It took me a steak knife, a fork, and a pair of scissors to get the fucking wrapper open.

So, for the safety of all the dear little animals, in the future please package your "lunch meat" in resealable plastic, because in the time it took me to get to the fucking food I could've killed a chicken and happily eaten its yummy bits and if I have to waste that much time I will just go to the goddamned Burger King and get myself a juicy burger. Fuck you, wrapper--FUCK YOU!

Your Sincerely,

Jaded Grin

Comments

I concur!

[shi-channobaka.livejournal.com]

Packaging is wasted on half this so called "food" anyway. I've tried and tried to do the healthy thing, but keep reading, hearing, and watching people around me get sick and dying from the "healthy" lifestyle. So in the best interest in my own health, I gave up being healthy. Eating the shit that's bad for me hasn't killed me, but the Tofurkey and excersize bike just might.

Re: I concur!

[jaded-grin.livejournal.com]

How true! My great grandmother lived to 83 years old on side-pork and grease-laden meats so I'm not sure how much time I'm hoping to buy with this vegetarian stuff! I started it to support my cousin because the family is giving her the eye over her decision (yes, we are a family that does not like change) but now I'm beginning to see why she's so skinny--she can't get into her food! I'll take the steak, at least the steak knife yields yummy results!

[arlo-arleh.livejournal.com]

According to everyone here if I dont eat steak I'm NOT AUSTRALIAN *gasp*

Well then lucky for me I am a carnivor, I would positively die if I had to survive on "rabbit food" for the rest of my life. Or at least get quite sick, seeing as I have a low heama... hemo.. haemo... since I'm low in iron :/

One of my friends is a vegan and I have no idea how she does it. She wont even WEAR animal products, and by this I dont mean dead animals (because I wouldnt either). I mean like... wool. She wont wear wool :S

[jaded-grin.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's pretty hardcore. I mean, wool doesn't even hurt the sheep, right? They just get a haircut and go about their sheep business. Yeah, you gotta watch that low iron, that's not good. Maybe I should just go ahead and get myself a burger--I like the morality behind being a vegetarian, but my patience is shot on the best of days.

[white-jenna.livejournal.com]

Some vegans won't eat honey.

[nivell.livejournal.com]

*gasp* Urgh, you ate that tofu substitute meat?? Did you like it? I tried it once..almost spat it right back out.

Thank you so much for that e-gift! That really made me happy and shiny~~!!! *HUUUGS* ♥♥♥

[jaded-grin.livejournal.com]

Aw! You're welcome! Hope you had a great one!

[zilldk.livejournal.com]

Yeah well you're probably beginning to think that I'm stalking your journal right about now, and I'd say that said assumption would be correct! Heh!

I just had to comment on this, me being as carnivorous as they get. I could never survive on all that plant-stuff and never be able to have a nice burger or steak or fried chicken again. One of my friends tried it and had to give it up for the same reasons and my brother once dragged me to a vegetarian restaurat claiming I'd love it and I really REALLY didn't! Everything was soaked in some "healthy" oily 'sauce' and it tasted like crap! Grinding sweet little innocent peas up into mush, claiming it to be some sort of "meat"-substitute... Sorry kiddo, no can do!

I truthfully admire those who can pull it off, and I wish you the best of luck with it, but I would just die slowly and miserably from the wanting/longing/missing alone.

I'd say, think about what you eat - buy meat from animals that have been treated well and be conscious. But I have seen no proof of that veggie-stuff prolonging your life or making it less miserable. *grin* The hardcore vegetarians just end up missing vital proteines... (and before people start chewing me up I admit that I'm just an ignorant fool with no special knowledge of such in the first place. I'm just babbling and loving a juicy steak!)

And if I should comment on the original post I'd say that food-wrappings in general just suck! What's with the "easy wrappings" and super-glued plastic containers that in reality is just that - super-glued? And dont get me started on the abundance of extra-extra inner wrappings and plastic and shit... Yeah, sorry for babbling...

[jaded-grin.livejournal.com]

Stalk away! I know you're trying to catch up after a long dry spell :D I'm more into the vegetarian thing because I like animals and I'm trying to support my vegetarian cousin 'cause the fam is giving her the stink-eye. I figure if rigid, dependable Stacey does it, they'll lay off her a bit. But, if the packaging keeps up the way it is, I'll probably say fuck it and go get a burger, for reals. Wrappers can go suck me, food is designed to be eaten, not broken into like a fucking maximum security vault.

[shinraprincess7.livejournal.com]

And what about the plastic shell type packages that you cannot open without scissors or knives? And then just TRY to re-package your item if it doesn't work, or you need to return it. I think idiots are running things in the world. And pretend lunch meat sucks anyway, you do not want to eat it. I am debating that debacle right now, in other words, "what to eat." I want to try the veggie thing too.

[jaded-grin.livejournal.com]

I know! Packaging is SO frigging frustrating! The veggie thing is okay so far, but I'm losing weight (which isn't good for me at my whopping 110 and advanced age of 31) so I may have to work the red meat back in. Besides...I MISS STEAK! GOD I MISS IT SO MUCH! *goes off to cry*